Music Tour 2005

I’ll start at the stage door. David and I caught the train up from Canterbury just before 10am, and arrived at Hammersmith at around midday. The barriers were already up in preparation, but the crowd was almost non-existent at that point - not surprisingly - but we had decided to get there early (Well, I had – David made his usual noises about me being barmy!) When you’re a shorthouse like me, you have to beat the crowds to have any chance of seeing Michael! David went off to get us a bit of lunch , and I prepared to take root at the barrier…while I waited, some other fans began to arrive, and I began to feel a bit less conspicuous!

It was lovely to see so many friends last week – some new, some old, from the Chitty days! I’ll avoid naming names, as I’m bound to forget someone – but I will just mention Sarah B and her little girl Rebecca – Rebecca had made some beautiful little birthday presents for Michael – she had made a little heart, a dog (Freddie!), a rat (Missy!) and a duck (if my memory serves me correctly, it was a duck – forgive me if I’m wrong, Rebecca!), and had written a lovely letter to him – we all agreed that Michael would love them!

We all made sure that a space was reserved at the barrier, so that Rebecca could lean over and give her present to Michael. That idea nearly went out of the window just as Michael arrived, a bit before 4pm – two men decided to park their cars right in front of us, on the other side of the barrier – making it impossible to get near Michael! (Er, hello? We’ve only been waiting here 4 hours…!). Now, I’m usually very quiet, but on this occasion – I was very polite, and said “Excuse me!” One of the men had already moved his car, but the other looked round at me. “Would you mind moving your car….please?!” (I put on my best pleading face!). He started to say ‘No’, but I pointed in Rebecca’s direction and said, “Little one wants to say “Hello” to him (meaning Michael, of course – and needless to say, Rebecca wasn’t the only one!). To his credit, he immediately climbed back into his car and moved it. Thank you, whoever you are (we did thank him at the time!) – you made a little girl and a lot of women very happy!

Michael’s car gradually made its way along the road - it paused frequently as Michael said hello to everyone, signing as he went. Finally it came round the corner to us – as it did so, the barriers

ceased to have any effect as everyone pushed them out of the way to get to the car and Michael. David had already lifted Rebecca over the barrier to go across to him, and she was in danger of being bowled over in the rush…but apparently Michael saw her, and asked everyone to stand back for her (I didn’t get to see Rebecca with Michael, but I gather she did get to give her presents to him!) At this point I decided if I didn’t join in, I wouldn’t get to say Hi to him, so I made my way round and joined the queue! As a somewhat besieged Michael came past, saying hello to us all, he looked at me, so I smiled and just said, “Hi Michael” – he gave me a lovely smile and said, “Hello love – you alright?”

With that the car crept forward some more, and someone asked Michael if he had eaten the chocolates she had given him. He replied to her , “Ooh, yes – all of them!” Then looking back at us all, he said grinning, his eyes wide, “Stop feeding me, you lot – I’m getting HUGE!” We laughed, and the car moved up to the side of the theatre, away from us all. We watched as Michael climbed out of the car – he waved to us, saying, “See you all later!”, and we waved back. Did I mention he was looking gorgeous?!

Later, after a lovely “al fresco” pub meal, alongside the River Thames, it was time to head back to the theatre. Lindsay, Chris, Sissel and Gerd, David and I made our way back along the riverside – it was very pleasant, seeing the ducks, geese, two nesting swans, a heron…not to mention all the dogs out for their evening walk!

We arrived at the Apollo, and the familiar butterflies began to dance inside me! I treated myself to a black T shirt (with the hearts logo) – very nice! We met more friends inside – Joan, Nadine, Cathy Ryan, Violeta, Lynny and her husband Bill – hope I haven’t missed anyone out!

Finally it was time to go and find our seats. David and I were rocking before the show started – literally! Our seats had come apart at the back from the rest of the seats – I sat on mine and

nearly disappeared into it, with my legs in the air! Every time we moved, it made the seats rock backwards and forwards. Sitting in the second row, you can imagine how very careful I was, as I sat down after Michael’s first song….how Michael would have reacted (given his wicked sense of humour) if that seat had swallowed me, I dread to think!!

The show began, and Lucia came onto the stage – she deserved the warm reception she received – she is lovely, and such a talented violinist. After performing several pieces beautifully, she left the stage, and after a break, it was time for Michael! As soon as his silhouette appeared behind the black and white backdrop, it was obvious this was going to be a lively night! As Michael stepped out onto the stage, a big cheer went up, and everyone leapt to their feet to welcome him. He looked really chuffed at the reception, bless him!

First of all, I loved Michael’s performance of two of the new songs from the Essential Michael Ball album – “When you tell me that you love me” (one of my all-time favourite songs), and “That’s what love is for” – absolutely beautiful . Before singing the latter, Michael said that he had written it…then he paused, smiled gently and said, “And my girl is here tonight”. A few aahs went up in the audience, followed by a round of applause. Chris tells me that Cathy was sitting just across from them, a couple of rows in front. Michael also said, at one point in the show, that Maria Friedman was there that night, too.

I loved "Circle of Life" this time around as much as in Oxford – I’ve always loved the song, and the orchestration, plus of course, Michael’s delivery of the song, made it so special. More of this one, please Michael!

The time came for the Woman in White section – fantastic! He sang three songs from Woman In White, including the beautiful “I believe my heart”, and the song which so suited his sense of humour, “You can get away with anything”!

After singing, “I believe my heart” (wonderful!), Michael went through how he’d received a phone call while walking Freddie along the beach, asking him to take on the role of Count Fosco, and how he’d been thrilled to be asked to play the “Middle-aged, evil, fat bastard”, because until then, he’d

only ever been asked to play romantic roles. He mentioned how he’d played a character who was mad about animals, and how he’d had to sing with white mice and a rat. He said the the mice had had “A continence problem – do you know how much pee a mouse can produce? A pint and a half – and it stinks!”

Michael then dragged out from the wings, a life-size cut out of himself as Fosco – to applause from us. He stepped in front of it, adopting the same pose at the photo, immediately turning himself into Fosco – obviously without the fat suit and make-up – but his mannerisms, Italian accent and camp walk were so funny! He tottered across the stage, waving his hands about, turning to us and saying that Fosco was “Quite camp, really”! As he reached Callum, the poor man came in for some stick – Michael looked at him, then, looking at us, but nodding in Callum’s direction, said in his Italian accent, “Seems like a nice boy!” We all laughed!

He moved to the side of the Fosco cut out, asking whoever was in charge of the spotlight to “Keep the lights on the good looking one”, as the spotlight wandered onto Fosco! Michael walked away across the stage, but the spotlight remained on Fosco, leaving Michael in the dark. He strode back across the stage, looked up to wherever the lights man was, and said, “Interesting way to ask for a P45”. The spotlight promptly shifted back to Michael! (For the non-UK’ers, a P45 is a certificate issued to you for tax purposes, when you leave a company’s employ).

Part way through singing, “You can get away with anything”, Michael introduced “My co-star – Missy!” There was huge applause as Annie brought her onto the stage in her glass box. Michael held her up in one hand, so that she was looking at him, and in a strong Italian accent, said, “Sheez my leetle furry precious.” Then he pointed at someone in the audience, walked across the stage to them with Missy, and said wickedly, “You want to play with my leetle furry precious?!” Raucous laughter came from us, before he continued with the song.

Still singing, he held his arms out to the side, encouraging Missy with his fingers to run from his right hand, up his arm, across his shoulders, and down the other arm to his left hand. Missy,

however, had other ideas that night. Every time Michael encouraged her (just by nudging her with his fingers as he sang) to run up his arm, she would run up as far as his shoulder, then come scampering back down again. At one point, she stopped on Michael’s wrist and peered over, staring at the microphone, her nose and whiskers twitching! (She’s so cute!) We were all starting to giggle, and Michael pulled an exasperated face, then put her into his left hand. She immediately ran up his left arm, across his shoulders, and down his right arm into his hand. Huge applause, before which Michael had looked at Missy and said, “You’re sacked!”

After Missy had left the stage, Michael said how, on the tour, he’d been going round the hotels with a life-size cut out of Fosco, and a rat. He took us all back to the days of Fawlty Towers when he said the hotels had looked at Missy and said, “You’re not bringing that rat in here” – Michael did a wonderful impression of Manuel, saying, “Eez no rat, eez ’amster!” !!

(I don’t know how far Fawlty Towers made it round the globe, but it was a brilliant comedy series here, about a hotel – they had a Spanish waiter called Manuel, whose command of English was somewhat limited. One of the storylines was when Manuel bought a pet rat, and his boss told him that he could not have a rat in the hotel. Manuel had turned to him and said that it wasn’t a rat, but a Siberian hamster - “Eez no rat, eez ’amster….Siberian ’amster!”).

We were well into the show by now – Michael’s rendition of “You’re just too good to be true” was just as mischievous, with some very expressive eye contact!

In party time, (I stayed where I was in the second row – I had a good enough view from there!), I was pleased that Michael had kept in "Help Yourself" – always a lot of fun – when it came to the “Grab a share” bit, he was perilously close to the edge of the

stage as he turned his back to us – but moved off very quickly down the stage before anyone could take him up on his offer!!

It was good to have "One Step out of Time" back too!

The applause was getting louder and louder, and at one point Michael looked out at us all, hugging himself in the way that he does – bless him! He looked quite emotional towards the end, with all the love that was being sent his way on stage!

We made a pretty good attempt with singing along to "Love Changes Everything" – it always gives a lovely warm feeling at the end of a show, singing along to it together, doesn't it?

Michael finished the show with “You raise me up”, saying that you could either take the song in a spiritual or personal context – but that it was meant that evening in a personal context. It’s a beautiful song – I do hope he records it soon.

Sadly the evening came to an end – we all trooped outside, but weren’t surprised to be told that Michael would not be coming out for some time, as he had guests, and they were having an after show party. (The smell of food wafting into the front rows after show finished gave us a clue – we made the comment that Michael must have ordered in the pizzas!). David and I had to dash off for our train this time, so sadly couldn’t wait – ah well, roll on the next time!

Thanks for a wonderful evening Michael – and a brilliant tour!!